ok. so I suk at eating right. I need to throw everything out of my cupboards that isnt good. The hummus and crackers have to go, so does the wine and the sake, see my pattern now??????? ACK
got bored waiting to pick up the bf. He was to come at 8, and then he said 10. so i sat, waited, ate, drank. FInally made a fabulous dinner. Roasted thai tofu with vegies and brown rice. It really turned out nice, but took like an hour to make! Then we didn't get to eat until 11 o'clock, since his class ran late. I was not happy. Headache, tired, ate late, had to get up and drive him to the ferry. You see, we don't live together. ( long story) and his class was by where i live, so he stayed. Sleep is precious to me, and i get grumpy when i don't get enough. I don't mind driving him to the ferry tho, cause i get to see him midweek.
i love seeing him, but this class lasts 8 weeks, so a new game plan will amerge.
guess tomorrows a brand new day.
Friday, May 4, 2007
Thursday, May 3, 2007
diet day one.....opps, new food plan day one
ok...... so here I go............ as my dad used to say.. another day, another dollar :P
so i bought all my food yesterday and it felt good, powerful to be making healthy food choices. I got turkey patties, vegies, grapefruit, salad. I also bought my favorite desserts knowing this is it, and ate about 3 bites of each, that's all i wanted. had dimsum, which was lousy and well...... new day... new me.
so this am, i cooked 4 patties, three in the fridge, one for breakfast, made 2 salads with balsamic vinegar and tuna in them, 3 oz tuna, and brought the grapefruit to work. Also juiced 2 lemons and made lemonaid with artificial sweetener, ( not sure about that ) and cayenne.
I have been peeing like crazy at work. googled, lemon juice, and low and behold it is a diuretic..... thought so!!! That's ok.. my cankles are swollen, this will help.
I ate my patty. well half, it was undercooked.... yuck and have not eaten anything else yet though I am suppose to eat every 2 to 3 hours. Guess I will break into the grapefruit since I was suppose to eat this for breakfast.
so here is what i am suppose to eat for my body shape......endomorph
breakfast
2 oz turkey, 1/2 grapefruit
snack
3 oz tuna, 1 cup salad
lunch
2 oz fish, 1/2 yam
snack
3 oz tuna, 1 cup salad
dinner
3 oz fish, 1 cup veggies
snack
2 oz chicken, 1 cup salad
i drizzled balsamic vinegar over my salad, tastes good
since i do not like to eat too much meat, i can substitute tofu for it. So tonight the bf is coming over and i am making him thai tofu over brown rice. I won't eat the rice, he can. I'll eat the tofu and vegies.
i know i can do this. I HAVE to. My health is suffering from being fat. I have high blood pressure, and edema. Could be worse. I saw on the discovery channel lastnight really obese people and their health problems. I don't want to be like that. I also learned that sitting at a desk all day can make for fluid retention in your legs. I am going to walk at lunch. Usually I go out and eat, but since I am on this food plan and have to make my lunch, well... i'll walk. I wonder if the fish will smell up the doctors office i work in? Well.... i'll find out today!
ok............ why am i doing this??????
embarrassed by the recent photos
i deserve to be slim
my health
want to look good for vegas baby june 23
for my bf.. he is slim and a hottie
my sister died at 55, i don't want to
to look good when i met friends i haven't seen in awhile.. i am soo embarrassed of me right now
to wear cute clothes
to not sweat as much
to be able to wear sleevless shirts
to not hide
to wear a bathing suit and feel ok... alright. that's a stretch!!!
to fit me, the inside me that is not the outside me that others see.
to look cute again
off to eat my fruit................
so i bought all my food yesterday and it felt good, powerful to be making healthy food choices. I got turkey patties, vegies, grapefruit, salad. I also bought my favorite desserts knowing this is it, and ate about 3 bites of each, that's all i wanted. had dimsum, which was lousy and well...... new day... new me.
so this am, i cooked 4 patties, three in the fridge, one for breakfast, made 2 salads with balsamic vinegar and tuna in them, 3 oz tuna, and brought the grapefruit to work. Also juiced 2 lemons and made lemonaid with artificial sweetener, ( not sure about that ) and cayenne.
I have been peeing like crazy at work. googled, lemon juice, and low and behold it is a diuretic..... thought so!!! That's ok.. my cankles are swollen, this will help.
I ate my patty. well half, it was undercooked.... yuck and have not eaten anything else yet though I am suppose to eat every 2 to 3 hours. Guess I will break into the grapefruit since I was suppose to eat this for breakfast.
so here is what i am suppose to eat for my body shape......endomorph
breakfast
2 oz turkey, 1/2 grapefruit
snack
3 oz tuna, 1 cup salad
lunch
2 oz fish, 1/2 yam
snack
3 oz tuna, 1 cup salad
dinner
3 oz fish, 1 cup veggies
snack
2 oz chicken, 1 cup salad
i drizzled balsamic vinegar over my salad, tastes good
since i do not like to eat too much meat, i can substitute tofu for it. So tonight the bf is coming over and i am making him thai tofu over brown rice. I won't eat the rice, he can. I'll eat the tofu and vegies.
i know i can do this. I HAVE to. My health is suffering from being fat. I have high blood pressure, and edema. Could be worse. I saw on the discovery channel lastnight really obese people and their health problems. I don't want to be like that. I also learned that sitting at a desk all day can make for fluid retention in your legs. I am going to walk at lunch. Usually I go out and eat, but since I am on this food plan and have to make my lunch, well... i'll walk. I wonder if the fish will smell up the doctors office i work in? Well.... i'll find out today!
ok............ why am i doing this??????
embarrassed by the recent photos
i deserve to be slim
my health
want to look good for vegas baby june 23
for my bf.. he is slim and a hottie
my sister died at 55, i don't want to
to look good when i met friends i haven't seen in awhile.. i am soo embarrassed of me right now
to wear cute clothes
to not sweat as much
to be able to wear sleevless shirts
to not hide
to wear a bathing suit and feel ok... alright. that's a stretch!!!
to fit me, the inside me that is not the outside me that others see.
to look cute again
off to eat my fruit................
Wednesday, May 2, 2007
OY VAY
so it comes to this.......... just returned from disneyland with two of my 3 great kids. Em almost 21 and laura 23. I look at a pic from the weekend and OMG that's me??????? That big fat whale of a gal? WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED???? I guess I know, but never wanted to acknowledge the weight gain, but now it is no longer impossible not to acknowledge. I am huge.
OK..... reality. I was a chubby kid. I grew up struggling with my weight since i was a kid. chrisco fat in the can, i was called, even by my "lovely" mother. College, fat, then lean, then fat then lean. when i married in 1980, i starved myself to be 120 pounds. I literally starved myself. It was not fun, but i did it. then the babies started coming, and it was the first time in a long time i ate what i wanted it it was fun! BUT my husband at the time was a weight natzi so i had then had to restrict what i ate and exercise. I began to be bulemic instead of anorexic. One day as I was throwing up my steak dinner, a piece got logged in my throat, i was choking to death kneeling in front of a toilet, family downstairs, not aware of what was going on.
I prayed to God to help me, and promised to never throw up again, I was dying, gasping for air that would not come. All of a sudden, the chunk came up, and I was saved. I never threw up after that again. I made a pact and will stick with it.
I got divorced, moved, lost weight and was feeling great, exercising and eating right. Met a guy, fell in love, he was a large man, he loved to eat....fabulous i thought. Buffets, meat, taters, the all of it. Sad to say... here came the weight. But he loved me for me and didnt care so i didnt care. Well, things didnt work out, he was found to be a perv.... ewww......... and was made to leave the house immediately.
well.. he left, but the pounds stayed, and then added on. I am an emotional eater. I eat when I am happy, i eat when i am sad. I have gained wayyyyyyyyyyy too much weight. My sister died last year and I gained 30 pounds from it.......... now its time to stop. i tell my kids this, but they have heard it before. i dont stick to diets too well. i get going, lose 20, then gain it back. what makes this time any different?
I think it's because i am feeling so gross. i dont want this anymore. My bf is dealing with health issues and he has had to modify his food plan and is doing great. If he can do it, i can too. so.......... here's to the new me.
here is my plan..............
the 6 week makeover plan worked out great before, tho it involves ALOT of tuna. And that's ok with me now. HELL>.......it's not forever!!! AND i am going to walk. I was sooooo out of breath this weekend it wasn't even funny. I should not be like this and will not!1 NO WAY.. no deal howie.... as my Em would say :)
How i love my kids!!!!
so i am blogging to keep me real. I am real here............and I am going to be honest and say i am scared, but it will all work out! So today is my last hurrah day, eating what i want....... will go shopping tonight for my salads, fish, yams, water, vegies.
OK..... reality. I was a chubby kid. I grew up struggling with my weight since i was a kid. chrisco fat in the can, i was called, even by my "lovely" mother. College, fat, then lean, then fat then lean. when i married in 1980, i starved myself to be 120 pounds. I literally starved myself. It was not fun, but i did it. then the babies started coming, and it was the first time in a long time i ate what i wanted it it was fun! BUT my husband at the time was a weight natzi so i had then had to restrict what i ate and exercise. I began to be bulemic instead of anorexic. One day as I was throwing up my steak dinner, a piece got logged in my throat, i was choking to death kneeling in front of a toilet, family downstairs, not aware of what was going on.
I prayed to God to help me, and promised to never throw up again, I was dying, gasping for air that would not come. All of a sudden, the chunk came up, and I was saved. I never threw up after that again. I made a pact and will stick with it.
I got divorced, moved, lost weight and was feeling great, exercising and eating right. Met a guy, fell in love, he was a large man, he loved to eat....fabulous i thought. Buffets, meat, taters, the all of it. Sad to say... here came the weight. But he loved me for me and didnt care so i didnt care. Well, things didnt work out, he was found to be a perv.... ewww......... and was made to leave the house immediately.
well.. he left, but the pounds stayed, and then added on. I am an emotional eater. I eat when I am happy, i eat when i am sad. I have gained wayyyyyyyyyyy too much weight. My sister died last year and I gained 30 pounds from it.......... now its time to stop. i tell my kids this, but they have heard it before. i dont stick to diets too well. i get going, lose 20, then gain it back. what makes this time any different?
I think it's because i am feeling so gross. i dont want this anymore. My bf is dealing with health issues and he has had to modify his food plan and is doing great. If he can do it, i can too. so.......... here's to the new me.
here is my plan..............
the 6 week makeover plan worked out great before, tho it involves ALOT of tuna. And that's ok with me now. HELL>.......it's not forever!!! AND i am going to walk. I was sooooo out of breath this weekend it wasn't even funny. I should not be like this and will not!1 NO WAY.. no deal howie.... as my Em would say :)
How i love my kids!!!!
so i am blogging to keep me real. I am real here............and I am going to be honest and say i am scared, but it will all work out! So today is my last hurrah day, eating what i want....... will go shopping tonight for my salads, fish, yams, water, vegies.
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